Tag Archives: life

#SoCS 7/11/2020 – Send me an Angel

Today Linda has given us “SONG” as our prompt for #SoCS with the following: “First, find a picture–the closest one to you. Your prompt is the title and/or the lyrics of the first song that comes to mind when you look at the picture.”

This picture hangs above my desk on the left hand wall. It was given to me probably 15 years ago by one of my best friends Martha, she and I have been best friends since we worked together at SITEL Corporation in 1999. It is the first picture I saw as I read the prompt from Linda. The first song I thought of was Send Me An Angel by Real Life from 1983. The video below is from 1989 and the song and video were played widely in 1989 and 1990 when I first moved to San Antonio after being released to a halfway house.

In 1999, who would have thought that indeed I would be sent an angel in the form of my Cruzer. We met through friends in 1997 and then lost touch for a few years. He was going through a tough time in January 2001 when he called 411, you remember information – right, to find my number because he just needed a friend to talk to. It was like we picked up where we never even started or left off – and here we are almost 19 1/2 years later and we are still together.

He has seen me at my best and at my worst and yet he has loved me through it all. I could not ask for a better friend and husband. My Higher Power whom I choose to call God truly did send me an angel!!

Enjoy the music video below from Real Life. That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

Late #SoCS 6/6/20 – Fan

This week Linda has given us the prompt of FAN for our #SoCS.

I started writing this post yesterday morning and then my best friend whose mother passed away on Friday called asked if I could come over and handle taking down her brush for the big brush pick-up on Monday 6/8. So of course, I dropped everything and spent almost 9 hours assisting my ride or die.

I am a huge fan of many things. Specific movies to include A Few Good Men, Goodfellas, Casino, A Time to Kill, Steel Magnolias, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, anything with Joan Crawford or Bette Davis. As evidenced by my posts I am a huge fan of many music genres to include country, jazz, contemporary Christian, and anything from the greatest music decade ever – the 1980’s.

I love to read my favorite author is John Grisham and I have read pretty much every book he has written and seen every movie that was made from a book of his.

I am a fan of remaining sober and working my program with my great sponsor and my Higher Power whom I choose to call God along with the assistance of my husband – who yes, I am a huge fan of and my family.

You what I am the biggest fan of? You guessed it my four legged babies. They love me UNCONDITIONALLY and if my husband got as excited about me walking in the door as they all do, that would be icing on the cake. The pictures below were all taken on Thursday evening 6/4/20 which just so happened to be Five months of sobriety for me.

Sharing – “Let’s Talk about #blacklivesmatter”

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a double Alumnus of The University of Texas at San Antonio as well as a former staff member. During my time there I had the opportunity to not only touch the lives of many students but also to have many students touch my life in ways that I could have never imagined.

I still follow a lot of those students on multiple social media sites and every now and then a true gem comes along and needs to be shared. One particular individual that I have stayed in touch with is Brian Mannas from the Class of 2013 who has gone on do to some really great things to include being an AmeriCorps VISTA Volunteer and a member of the Peace Corps and is now a Paid Canvassing Director for the campaign of James Talarico for State Representative in Austin, Texas.

Yesterday Brian posted a video that is an important conversation starter entitled “Let’s talk about #BlackLivesMatter“, he did an excellent job of stating some very important factors from his point of view. I hope you will take a moment to watch the video.

With his permission I am reposting to my social media feeds as well as here. That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

Your Black Friend Is Trying to be okay!!!

I friend of mine on Facebook posted this today and she simply copied and pasted it as I am here. Very powerful suggestions here. I hope everyone will take these words to heart during this stressful time in the United States.

Your black friend is trying to be ok.

Your Black friend in the past 30 days has watched a Black man get shot dead while jogging (Ahmaud Arbery), a Black woman get shot dead while sleeping (Breona Taylor), and the murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer. Your Black friend has also listened to the President of the United States use segregationist words as a veiled threat.

Your Black friend is trying to be ok.

Please don’t ask us about the looting.
Please don’t chastise us about the rioting.
Please don’t tell us that all lives matter.
Please don’t minimize our fear.
Please don’t bring up Black on Black crime.
Please don’t ask “What about Chicago?”
Please don’t say “if you’d just act like (A Wildly Successful Black Person… Usually Oprah, Obama, Colin Powell, Denzel or Will Smith)”. Please don’t judge us

Your Black friend is trying to be ok.

Listen to your Black friend.
Empathize with your Black friend.
Support your Black friend.
Pray for your Black friend.
Pray with your Black friend.

Just let your Black friend know you really care.

Your Black friend will remember who truly had their back during this difficult time. They will remember who was more concerned about a looted Target. They will remember you posting a thinly veiled and racially offensive meme. They will remember you calling looters “Savages”. They will remember your silence about their Black life and the Black Lives of others.

It’s real easy.

Do whatever you can to help your Black friend out because your Black friend is trying to be ok…..

**Copied and pasted…please pass on!

Repost from John Pavlovitz – “To white police from black jesus”

I am taking a moment to repost a blog from one of my favorite bloggers John Pavlovitz. As a Catholic, I am so happy that John posted this post. That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

And Jesus walked into the 3rd Precinct, sat down and began to teach them, saying:

“You have heard it said, “Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me.”

I’ve heard you repeat that in your churches and in your Bible studies. I’ve seen it on your social media profiles.

I need you to understand what that means:

It means that I am a black life.When you slowly suffocate a man to death in the street while he pleads for breath, you’re slowly suffocating me.

When you drive your knee into his neck until it closes, you’re driving your knee into mine.

When you close stand by and watch him expire without helping him, you’re ignoring my murder.

When you execute young men at traffic stops for doing nothing than having darker skin than yours, you’re executing me, because mine is darker than yours.

When you knock an old person down in the street, you’re knocking me down.

When you lob tear gas into crowds whose faces you cannot see, you’re lobbing it into my eyes and down my throat and choking me.

When you fire rubber bullets into the heads of women bringing water to marchers, you’re firing them into my head.

When you strike the face of an unarmed teenager, you strike mine. That is my blood on your baton.

When you indiscriminately run peaceful people over with your patrol car, you’re running me over. Your tires crush my bones and tear my tendons.

When you mock the termination of a black life with your friends, you’re the laughing soldiers who stood around my cross making a mockery of me.

When you spit on people of color, you’re spitting on me.

When you deny the value of black life, you’re denying my worth.

This has always been true.

I made my home in the gutters, with the people of the street; with the outcasts and the marginalized, with the maligned and the disrespected. I was always where the powerless pushed back against the powerful.

I was always where the least were asking to be treated with humanity.

I am here now, with these exhausted, desperate human beings pleading for decency and I am kneeling across from you in these protests.

I am waiting for you to stop defending Caesar and to be the agents of peace you’re supposed to be. I am looking for you to protect and serve me in my pigmentation.

I am your black neighbor, giving you the chance to love me as you love yourself, to value my life and as much as your own.

I was here before you were born, before America was something white people took from people they slaughtered, and something built with the hands of other people they stole.

Before your flags and your anthems and before your nationalism ever had a nation, I was demanding the release of the slave and emancipation of the imprisoned and liberation of the oppressed and hope for the hopeless.

Two thousand years ago I was here living with the street rabble and healing the wounds of Empire and turning over tables and screaming at religious hypocrisy—and I was warning people not to become so corrupt with power and so enamored with money that they forfeited their souls.

I was here speaking against people like this president and I was murdered by people like him and the more you embrace him, the more contempt you will have for me, the more harm you will be willing to do to me, the less my life will matter to you.

I am the slave, the prisoner, the college student you pull over, the man lying in the street, the woman carrying water.

I am the kneeling, silent black man waiting for justice that you can help give me.

I am the least of these.

My life matters.”

When Jesus finished speaking, many were upset by his teachings and grew agitated. Some screamed at him, some tried to justify themselves.

Others walked away, overtaken by guilt.

Jesus knelt down.

A Little Late #SoCS – Want


This post is part of #SoCS for Saturday 5/16/20 and the prompt is “WANT”.

Want to know what’s in My Rattled Cage? Today I just want to share that this has been a great week. Last week I wanted my trip to my birthplace, which was also the birthplace of  our 33rd president Harry S. TrumanLamar, Missouri to go off without a hitch and it did perfectly. I want to share some pictures from that trip for which the main purpose was for me to place flowers on the graves of my mother who passed on Mother’s Day May 10th, 1998 as well as my grandmothers Ruby who passed at the age of 99 on November 2, 2012 and Wanda who passed at the age of 89 on February 11, 2013. I also placed flowers on my brother Dale Jr’s grave he passed when I was a little over three months old. I also placed flowers on my grandfathers and uncles’ graves as well.

After visiting the graveyards I drove a short drive into Pittsburg, Kansas to eat at a family favorite and tradition Chicken Mary’s. Chicken Mary’s and Chicken Annie’s were featured on the Travel Channels Food Wars Season 1, Episode 3  – Kansas Fried Chicken War. I include the link to the episode; you may have to sign in with you cable service provider to watch. I will not spoil it for you as to which restaurant one the war. My Grand ma Ruby was always a Chicken Annie’s Fan which is located one block away from Chicken Mary’s. My Grandma Wand and our family have always been fans of Chicken Mary’s and a trip to Lamar, Missouri isn’t complete until you have been to Chicken Mary’s.

When I started my trip, my mileage was at 754 and when I returned on Monday the mileage sat 2335.  I have not shared pictures of my new car because I am still pinching myself as I cannot still believe that I am driving a 2020 Mitsubishi Mirage, so I want to share those as well.

The pictures below are in the order that I took them on my trip as I documented my journey. For me this trip was a rite of passage as I have never driven up. I have always flown, taken the Greyhound or ridden with my sister.

Now I will share pictures of my new car the red detail is what sold me on this car. I thought it was so different. That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

A Late #SoCS – Directions


I am running late this week on my #SoCS, but here I am. So Linda gave us the prompt of “directions”.  So I looked at a frozen dinner in my freezer and one of those Yakisoba soups and their directions started with peel back the corner to vent contents.

Peeling back the corner of the box is kind of like peeling back that first layer of an onion. This reminds me of a classic line from Mike Meyers as Shrek to Eddie Murphy as Donkey in the family movie Shrek. “Ogre’s are like onions!”

For me this particular time of recovery from my problems with alcoholism and addiction to cocaine addiction is a reminder that those of us in recovery that are really taking their program seriously are not ogres but they are definitely like onions. As people in recovery we are slowly peeling back those layers until we get to the very core of what we are and why we are alcoholics and addicts. You see as I am moving through my recovery, I am doing things differently. I am beginning to see those 9th Step Promises coming true and I am not even a third of the way through the simple program that is suggested.

Tomorrow I will have four months in recovery and I am truly blessed to have a great sponsor who refuses to let me rest on my laurels. Right now there are no face to face meetings but I am still able to attend meetings with my online home group Global Steps Alcoholics Anonymous that happens to meet in the our church In The Rooms an online recovery place which has so many other recovery program meetings for any addiction that you can imagine. I am working my steps and I am about to embark on my 4thStep which will demand true rigorous honesty on my part.

On my 90th day of recovery I purchased a brand new 2020 Mitsubishi Mirage. I would have never imagined that I would own a brand-new car. I am working a job that pays $10.50 an hour and yet I have no fear of economic insecurity. I am feeling a mental peace that I have never know even during my previous 2 1/2 years of sobriety between February 2014 and September 14th, 2016 when I turned 50 and unfortunately threw that sobriety away and have been struggling through relapses and recoveries over and over again.

In December 2019 my husband of almost 19 years at the time had open heart surgery and I did not handle it well at all. In fact, I wedged his truck in concrete barrier on Christmas Eve when I went out and got drunk – luckily, I was able to have it winched out and I drove it home. But that wasn’t enough. On New Year’s Eve I had no intention of drinking let alone getting drunk because I had to open the Dollar General that I worked at 7AM. Well I did get drunk, did not open the store and then proceeded on a bender due to the shame and remorse. On January second, I returned the keys to the store and as I was leaving, I did wreck my husband’s truck and damaged the right headlight and hood area. Again, going into another bender until the night of January 3rd when I had my last drink.

Next weekend I will be taking a rite of passage and taking a road trip in my brand-new car to Lamar, Missouri where I was born and spent summers and Christmases with my grandparents who are long gone. Sunday is May 10th, and in Mexico every and every so many years including this year is Mother’s Day. I will be going to have a conversation with my mother at her graveside as she passed on Mother’s Day May 10th 1998. But I will also be seeing my grandmothers and grandfathers, my brother and other relatives that have passed over the years. This trip I anticipate will be very cathartic and yes I NEED TO TAKE THIS TRIP, even during this troubling time in America I cannot allow my fears of another health issue to stand in my way of taking down a demon that has been such a huge part of my multiple journeys into relapsing and recovery.

This time I know that if I pick up one drink, I might as well just die because I do have another relapse in me that would be the most horrible of them all, BUT I DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER RECOVERY IN ME!!!!

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!!



#AtoZChallenge2020 – United We Stand


The letter “U” is one that is really cool, but there are not as many song titles that do start with the letter “Q”. For today’s entry into #AtoZChallenge2020 I actually do have a great song from the 1970’s. I have chosen Sonny and Cher’s United We Stand. The United States of America has the word UNITED in the country name. In my 53 years I have never seen our country so DIVIDED as it is now. Yes, we have definitely had many decades of different turmoil’s, but during this first term of the current occupant of The White House and now this pandemic has truly shown the horrible true colors of the division in this GREAT country that I live in.

I long for the day when we have a leader that does unite this country and returns us to the status of UNITED to the best of their ability. That’s what’s in  My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!!


There’s no where in the world that I would rather be
Then with you my love
And there’s nothing in the world that I would rather see
Than you smile my love

For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I

For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I
And if the world around you falls apart my love
Then I’ll still be here
And if the going gets too hard along the way
Just you call I’ll hear

For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I
For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Goodison / Tony Hiller
United We Stand lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

I will not be shaken!!!!

I watch the news once a day, normally in the morning between 6 & 7, because if you watch more than that you are only seeing regurgitation of the exact same stories and film at noon, 4, 4:30, 5, 6, 9 and 10.

Every single media outlet is in my opinion inciting more fear, stress, depression and triggers for individuals over the COVID-19 pandemic.

It also does not help that the current occupant of the White House must be in front of the cameras everyday with the people whose noses are so far up his tail and they are constantly praising his leadership!

I have not seen a true president, he has not calmed the country nor the economy down throughout the pandemic thus far. He continues his xenophobic ways by calling COVID-19 the Chinese virus, which does nothing but cause more xenophobic behavior in our country.

COVID-19 does not discriminate as we can see, it is unfortunate that the first truly reported hotspot was in Wuhan China. We must be better than we have been and remember that “BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, THERE GOES I!!!”

San Antonio is about to be pretty much shut down in the effort to prevent the spread of this horrific virus. Cruz and I are okay with this. Will we hurt financially, possibly but we both have our own underlying health issues and need to be careful. We will continue to live our normal lives and keep as much of our routines as possible.

I also lovingly say, if HIV/AIDS hasn’t killed me in over 23 years and my alcoholism and cocaine addiction off and on over the last nine years hasn’t killed me – no COVID-19 is gonna kill me either!!! I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN!!!

Cruz and I send our thoughts and prayers to everyone everywhere being affected in any way because of COVID-19

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!