Tag Archives: God

#SoCS

#SoCS 9/26/20 – Container

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Linda has provided us with the prompt of container for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

There is nothing worse than trying to find lids to the containers in the plastic to go cabinet in the kitchen. Wait, there is something worse, when you specifically buy containers with lids that stack together and your husband refuses to fall in line with that practice.

I cannot tell you how many I say, “Mr. Herrera, I buy these types of containers because of their ability to help save space and to keep the containers and lids together in one simple place. You see on Sundays I cook Sunder dinner and I deliver food to some very special people – my mother in law, the Sisters of the Holy Spirit and some other friends of ours.

It is very annoying searching for containers and then not finding the lids because he has put them in a drawer where they don’t belong.

On a different topic, I am getting better a placing certain things that have come up in my recovery into different MENTAL containers, some would say compartments – but aren’t they really the same thing?

For example when the old resentment player decides to suddenly crank up, I shut it off and throw it back into the far reaches of the resentment container in the brain. I have been blessed that over the last 8 months and 22 days I have not had to throw the desire to drink into it’s mental container – because I haven’t had any desire to drink.

What I do have to make sure stays in their respective mental containers are my character defects of impatience, sometimes being impulsive, speeding (for which I just completed my Defensive Driving Course for getting a ticket for going 86 in a 70 on a country road in Eagle Lake, Colorado County, Texas on 9/5/20 when I went to see my family on a spur of the moment trip), finding faults in others that I do not like about myself. I could go on and on with this list.

How do I keep those things where they belong? I wake up every day and thank my Higher Power whom I choose to call God for waking mu ep and not just bringing me to. I ask for His guidance in all that I do by turning everything over to the care of God as I understand him. I make meetings whether online or face to face. I do the best right thing. I do not pick up that first drink. At the end the day I again thank my Higher Power for being my partner in recovery JUST FOR TODAY! I am continuing to work on my 4ht step and I am in constant contact with my sponsor and I have the best support system in the world.

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage today, thanks for stopping by.

#SLS

#SLS 07/5/20 – The Great Adventure

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This week Jim has given us the prompts of Best/Better/Good/Great for #SLS. So, I have chosen Steven Curtis Chapman’s The Great Adventure. This song is just a constant reminder that if you have faith in a Higher Power, I just happen to call mine God, then you really are on a great adventure.

My great adventure has just surpassed the 6 month mark of SOBRIETY and I am loving this adventure as it is so much more this time. I am seeing things come true that weren’t even close to coming true when I had the previous 2 1/2 years of sobriety before I turned 50 in September of 2016. At that time I had quit doing service work in both my online meetings with Global Steps AA and my face to face meetings with my home group The Goliad Group. I have realized that that was the primary cause of my major relapse and then my continued roller coaster ride over the last 3 1/2 years. I am very proud and blessed to be on this GREAT ADVENTURE of RCOVERY!!

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

Lyrics

Saddle up your horses
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

Started out this morning in the usual way
Chasing thoughts inside my head
I thought I had to do today
Another time around the circle
Try to make it better than the last
I opened up the Bible
And I read about me
Said I’d been a prisoner
And God’s Grace had set me free
And somewhere between the pages
It hit me like a lightning bolt
I saw a big frontier in front of me
And I heard somebody say let’s go

Saddle up your horses
We’ve got a trail to blaze
Oh oh oh
Through the wild blue yonder of God’s Amazing grace
Let’s follow our leader into the Glorious unknown
This is the life like no other whoa whoa
This is the great adventure

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh yeah, yeah

So come on, get ready for the ride of your life
Gonna leave long faced religion
In a cloud of dust behind
And discover all the new horizons
Just waiting to be explored
This is what we were created for, yeah

Saddle up your horses
We’ve got a trail to blaze
Oh oh oh
Through the wild blue yonder of God’s Amazing grace
Let’s follow our leader into the Glorious unknown
This is the life like no other whoa whoa
This is the great adventure

We’ll travel on, over mountains so high
We’ll go through valleys below
Still through it all we’ll find that
This is the greatest journey
That the human heart will ever see
The love of God will take us far
Beyond our wildest dreams

Saddle up your horses
We’ve got a trail to blaze
Oh oh oh
Through the wild blue yonder of God’s Amazing grace
Saddle up your horses
We’ve got a trail to blaze (we’ve got a trail we’ve got a trail to blaze)
Through the wild blue yonder of God’s Amazing grace
Let’s follow our leader into the Glorious unknown
This is the life like no other whoa whoa
This is the great adventure

Oh oh oh oh (this is the great adventure)
Oh oh oh oh (this is the great adventure)
Oh oh oh oh (this is the great adventure)

Saddle up, saddle up your horses

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Steven Curtis Chapman / Geoff Moore

#SoCS

Late #SoCS 6/6/20 – Fan

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This week Linda has given us the prompt of FAN for our #SoCS.

I started writing this post yesterday morning and then my best friend whose mother passed away on Friday called asked if I could come over and handle taking down her brush for the big brush pick-up on Monday 6/8. So of course, I dropped everything and spent almost 9 hours assisting my ride or die.

I am a huge fan of many things. Specific movies to include A Few Good Men, Goodfellas, Casino, A Time to Kill, Steel Magnolias, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, anything with Joan Crawford or Bette Davis. As evidenced by my posts I am a huge fan of many music genres to include country, jazz, contemporary Christian, and anything from the greatest music decade ever – the 1980’s.

I love to read my favorite author is John Grisham and I have read pretty much every book he has written and seen every movie that was made from a book of his.

I am a fan of remaining sober and working my program with my great sponsor and my Higher Power whom I choose to call God along with the assistance of my husband – who yes, I am a huge fan of and my family.

You what I am the biggest fan of? You guessed it my four legged babies. They love me UNCONDITIONALLY and if my husband got as excited about me walking in the door as they all do, that would be icing on the cake. The pictures below were all taken on Thursday evening 6/4/20 which just so happened to be Five months of sobriety for me.

  • Granddaughter Little Bitty
  • Marcy (our shared custody baby) and Crissy
  • Sadie and her birth brother Stitchy
  • Sadie
  • Stitchy and Crissy
  • Zailey
  • From front to back: Zailey, Marcy, Stitchy, Crissy, Sadie and Little Bitty
Blogging from A to Z

“W” is for – Where I belong!!

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#AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary blogging from A to Z challenge letter

#AtoZChallenge “W”

It is great to know that throughout all of life’s challenges, some created by me and those that come naturally I know that I am right Where I Belong currently in this life. The other great thing is that I know that when it is all said and done and I leave this earth, I also know that I will be going Where I Belong  because John 3:16 tells me so!!! I am a true believer in God and His Son Jesus Christ!!

There are two songs both of the same title Where I Belong that I really like. The first is by Mercy Me  and the second is by Building 429. Enjoy!

 

That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage”, thanks for stopping by!!

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One Liner Wednesday 3/20/19 – I Lay Down My Pride

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Everyday I must remember to “lay down my pride” when dealing with anything that I think is unfair because I know that my Higher Power whom I chose to call God has my back!!!!

For your pleasure a little Christian Rock with Jeremy Camp’s – Lay Down My Pride!!

 

That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage”, thanks for stopping by!!

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One Liner Wednesday 3/20/19

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Blogging from A to Z April 2018: Qualified

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Blogging from A to Z April 2018

qualified

What makes a person qualified? Who determines that a person is qualified to do a specific job, to speak on a specific subject or to share their experiences. Ultimately it is the individual. One will apply for positions because they feel that they are qualified. Most people will not discuss topics unless they truly believe they know what they are talking about, because no one likes to seem like a fool. There are those of us who just have that gut feeling that they can possibly touch others by sharing their experience, strength and hope by telling their entire story with no reservations.

Let me preface this by saying, I am not arrogant nor do I think I have all the answers when it comes to recovery from alcoholism and addiction. What I will say is this, my story is my story and I am proud to say that while there have been many ups and downs in recovery and life in general, I am here and that is through the grace of my Higher Power whom I choose to call God and because I am unabashed about sharing who I am and where I have been along with where I want to go – I feel this makes me extremely qualified to share.

I am always blessed when I can speak of my troubles with my alcoholism, cocaine addiction, being bipolar and of course that double edged sword of depression. I love that I am a work in progress, I will never be perfect but with the help of my fellows and my faith, I continue to grow in recovery every day.

That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage” today, thanks for stopping by!!

 

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Blogging from A to Z April 2018: Kaleidoscope

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Blogging from A to Z April 2018 Challenge 

 

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines KALEIDOSCOPE  as:

 1 : an instrument containing loose bits of colored material (such as glass or plastic) between two flat plates and two plane mirrors so placed that changes of position of the bits of material are reflected in an endless variety of patterns.

2 : something resembling a kaleidoscope: such as
a : a variegated changing pattern or scene
b : a succession of changing phases or actionsc : a diverse collection

I love this word because for me, in my life of over 51 years I have been a kaleidoscope and have b in many kaleidoscopic settings. I remember when I was younger and my grandmothers or parents would buy me those toy kaleidoscopes. I loved looking through the hole and seeing the many beautiful patterns of colors. Ever interchanging making new patterns. Often times those kaleidoscopes were a reprieve from the things going on in my childhood. That is for a different post or multiple posts in general.

When I was younger, long before I ever started drinking or using any other type of drug, I used to do things that I knew were wrong because I thrived for attention. Good or bad, it didn’t matter. I was actually a pretty good shop lifter and check passer in my late teens. These activities wound up landing me in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice Institutional Division. I spent time on some of the worst units within the system, and lived with such a kaleidoscope of individuals of every race and mental persuasion. I never once had issues, not because I was a gay man, but because I knew how to respect myself and others while making sure I was never taken advantage of.

I have worked in many different fields over the years, fast food, retail, higher education, call centers. Think about in every one of those jobs, again there was such a diverse kaleidoscope of individuals that I worked with and constituents that I served.

As I have gotten older and have been loved by my husband of 17 years, Cruz, I have learned that I have facets of a kaleidoscope in my life. As some who is clinically diagnosed with bipolar affectation disorder, depression that often can be deep and of that huge elephant that I am so proud to be honest and open about my struggles with and current recovery from alcoholism and cocaine addiction. This is where my life is something resembling a a kaleidoscope because of the succession of changing phases and scenes.

I am proud to be the kaleidoscope that I am because I know that my Higher Power whom I choose to call God does not make mistakes. My God thinks that I am a most perfect and beautiful ever-changing kaleidoscope that is a continuous work in progress.

That’s what’s in my “My Rattled Cage” today, thanks for stopping by.

 

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Daily Post & Blogging from A to Z April 2018 Challenge: Inchoate

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pod-2018-md          The Daily Post: Inchoate 

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           Blogging from A to Z April 2018 Challenge

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the adjective inchoate as being only partly in existence or operation or imperfectly formed or formulated.

This word is very interesting to me and fits into two aspects of my life. As a recovering alcoholic and cocaine addict diagnosed with bipolar affectation disorder with depression that often is deep and long, I feel as though I am inchoate. You see when I am deep in my disease of alcoholism and addiction, often brought on by my mental illness issues, I feel as though my existence is nonexistent. Does this make sense?

As a gay man who knew at the age of six that he was different and has had many struggles over the years, I have also felt as though I was imperfectly formed mentally and otherwise. However, when I became strong in my faith in my Higher Power whom I choose to call God, I realized that I am not imperfectly formed. I am just how God intended for me to be. I am a 51-year-old gay man that has been married to his husband for over 17 years, with seven dogs and I have been thriving not just surviving with HIV/AIDS for over 21 years. All of this along with my demons of alcoholism and addiction and the mental illness are just facets of my life for which I ask God to continue to help me remain clean and sober just for today, while asking for his grace to be over me at all times.

The second aspect is my writing. I love to write and have many things that I can write about. The issue is that because I do not write every day or as much as I would like my writing may sometimes be inchoate. Yet writing is an art form that improves with time and content. I am a personal writer, I have some pretty strong political opinions that for some reason have held back on, and I am not afraid to share who am with any because my story may actually help someone else struggling in the same areas.

This is what is in “My Rattled Cage” today, thanks for stopping by!!

 

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Blogging from A to Z April 2018 Challenge: Higher Power

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Blogging from A to Z April 2018 Challenge

 

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Every day I am blessed that My Higher Power whom I chose to call God is with me on this incredible and sometimes difficult journey of recovery from alcoholism and cocaine addiction. This journey also includes dealing with having bipolar affectation disorder and some deep depression that still comes on even though I am on Lithium and Bupropion, while thriving not just surviving with HIV/AIDS for over 21 years..

That being said, I am also blessed to have a very loving and supportive family that has always seen me through THICK and THIN!!!!

This is what is in “My Rattled Cage” today, thanks for stopping by!!!