I posted this yesterday on InTheRooms.com.
We hear at least once in every meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous we hear that we have to change PEOPLE, PLACES and THINGS.
What if one of those people is yourself?
As people in recovery, we have to be very aware of what all of our triggers are.
For me one of my biggest triggers lately is the amount of sobriety time I have. I just celebrated 29 months of sobriety and it has begun to make me ever sensitive. You are probably asking why now?
It was right about this amount of time during my original time of sobriety of February 2014 – September 14, 2016 that I became very unhappy with working a program. I got angry at folks in my home group the Goliad here in San Antonio. I got angry with individuals in my online home group Global Steps Alcoholics Anonymous that happens to meet on the platform of InTheRooms.com. To be honest with you I still have no idea what made me angry. Probably my own PERSONALITY over PRINCIPLES – IMAGINE THAT! All I know is that, because I was angry I stopped attending meetings – which in turn meant I was not sharing in meetings. I quit doing any type of service work, including the monthly BBQ which I used to thoroughly enjoyed.
Because I quit working any type of program, let alone THE PROGRAM of Alcoholics Anonymous, I allowed myself to throw every bit of what I had gained during that 2 1/2 years of sobriety. I will never say I lost anything, I will say I threw it away and gave it all away for what. To spend the next 3 1/2 years in and out of relapse and recovery?
What is really wonderful today is that I am fully mentally aware of all of my triggers. I am aware when I harm others with my words or actions and I am able to immediately make amends to them. I am able to see when I am feeling some kind of way and I can address it through sharing in meetings or picking up the phone and calling someone. One of my biggest triggers right now is that some things have happened that are causing that fear of economic insecurity to begin to creep back in. I am writing about it, I am talking about it therefore I am increasing my armor against that chink appearing and allowing my disease of alcoholism and addiction to continue to do push-ups and pull-ups waiting for an opening.
I am working the program and I will continue to do what I know to do and utilize all of the tools in this wonderful tool box that has been given to me so freely!!
Thank you for being a part of my recovery!
That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage”, thanks for stopping by!!