When I saw the prompt for today, I immediately thought of the adage -” If you give them an inch, they will take a mile!”. This in turn took me to what I as an alcoholic and addict realized to be so true.
My husband and I will be celebrating 18 years on Valentine’s Day and I will be honest with you, I don’t know how he does it. I guess part of how he does is that we deal with his own issue of hoarding which times has often been the bane of my existence. So, we both put up with being given an inch and taking a mile regarding our issues, both individually and together. Then I also found another very relevant thought which is below.
“Be careful with how much you tolerate. You are teaching them how to treat you!”
I truly believe that statement to be true. Because he has been so much a codependent and part of the rationalism problem, he has continued to give inch after inch after inch and I have continued to take mile after mile after mile because he tolerated it and taught me how to treat him. That is all about to change for good!!!
The most I really tolerate is the hoarding, because I truly have been blessed with someone that for the most part has been a wonderful partner who loves me for all my faults and of course loves our Crissy, Little Bitty, Zailey, Sadie and Stitchy.
He on the other hand has really had to deal with not only my bouts with alcoholism and addiction, but he also had to deal with my mental illness issues of depression and being bipolar. The diagnosis of bipolar and the depression were not diagnosed until I was 47 which was five years ago. Yet they had always been there I just never had a name for them. My manic episodes have run gamut of extremely happy and getting things done to OMG – where is this coming from and what do I do.
I believe that unfortunately because of my addictive personality and all the other issues, I truly was one to take a mile when he gave me an inch – and not just once! This has been a recurring theme in our relationship, and somehow, he has left nor has he kicked me out the house, that he reminds often when I am on one of my rants due to drinking, that he bought for me. This last weekend began, what I had put on the calendar a few weeks ago, the purge. I have been trying to barter with him using my wanting to really work on my addictive issues if he would just start getting rid of all the crap that has taken up his bedroom, my dining room, our two-story garage and a storage unit – that he will never use.
He worked all day Saturday and all-day Sunday and made some progress on his room. I do believe the work will continue, it may take several months but I do believe that at some point we will done with all the crap that will never be used and I pray that I keep my side of the bargain because I am truly tired of dealing with the addiction issues. The bipolarism and depression are doable with medication, but the alcoholism or other addiction issues are no longer wanted or needed.
That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage”, thanks for stopping by!!!
2 thoughts on “#JusJoJan 2019 – Jan. 17th – Inch”
This was insightful. I am happy for you that you can see what you need to do to improve. It is so true that addiction issues take so much time and work to go away! Wishing you the best on your journey.
Wow, I think both of you have strong relationship if you both work in your issues. It is so hard to break habits when they have helped to survive for a long time. I hope both of you have outside help too. It not only needs a village to raise a child it also needs a village to change unhelpful habits. Sending both of you healing energy.